Tomorrow, April 20th is the Day of Silence.  The Day of Silence is a day in which students across the country take a pledge not to speak in order to call attention to the silencing effect of the bullying of LGBT in school.  It was founded in 1996 at the University of Virginia.  Over 8,000 middle and high schools, universities and colleges participated.

My first experience with the Day of Silence was a bit of a eye opener for me.  My daughter participated in the event at her high school when we lived in California.  She attended Poway High School and was interviewed by the Gay and Lesbian Times as well as other media sources after her fellow student Chase Harper, decided to verbally attack the students taking part in the action.  Harper subsequently sued the Poway Unified School District when he was asked to remove a shirt that had tape on it that read:

 "I will not accept what God has condemned" and "Be ashamed, our school embraced what God has condemned." On the back of the shirts were handwritten: "Homosexuality is shameful, 'Romans 1:27.'"

My daughter arrived home that day in complete distress.  She had adults on school grounds handing out booklets that told her that her mother was a bad person.  No child should have to be made to feel ashamed and worthless over something that their parents are. 

This is why I choose to be silent on the 20th of April.  I'm posting this today to ask that if there are those out there that can take part.  Please try to do so.  Show the young people participating in this day that we support their right to do so. 

I'm also taking part in the Pagan Blog Project 2012.  Our letter for this week was H.  I've decided for this week, I'm going to use the letter H for HUSH.  So for tomorrow, this blog will be silent.

Namaste & Blessed Be
Sosanna
)O(

I want to start this post out with a trigger warning. I talk about abuse and how I dealt with it as a child and as now a grown up. For those that are triggered easily, I recommend avoiding this series. I'll put this warning up before each of these.

I didn't get to be a child. I was always, "The Oldest". My understanding is that I started off life living with my grandmother. My mother was running around a bit and really didn't have time for a child. I lived with my grandmother and my cousin Tony. We stayed in a little house built by my grandfather. He passed away well before Tony or I were born. I lived with my grandmother until about 5 or 6 years old. I then moved to live with my mother and my step-father. I had a younger sister there as well. He was her step-father too.

There are not too many things I remember about my childhood. Most are full of pain. My very very first memory is me in a classroom. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 years old. I think I was in Kindergarten because we had our names on our desk in the block writing tablets. The ones that teach you how to write your letters.




There was a little girl there, she sat next to me. At playtime we ran outside to play and she said, I have a secret. I said you do? What is it? She said, my daddy kisses me down there. I said, yours does? My does too!!! She looked me right in my eye and said NO you're lying! My daddy said I'm special I'm the only one. From that day forward I never told another soul until I ran away from home at 15 years old. To this day I think about that first day at school and I wonder how my life may have been different if a teacher had her us talking. Or if I had told another adult. I wonder if anyone would have saved me. Did I really deserve saving?

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

I think back about that little girl, not the one that told me I was lying, I think about the one in me. The one that was hurt and alone. She is still there. Small and sad. She didn't get toys to play with or hugs from someone just because. All the love was conditional and hurtful. So today, I give her things. I buy her toys from the little machines and I give her little things. Things that she can cup in her, things that make her smile. Sometimes the smallest gift can mean the most.



Here are some of her things.

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

She likes little things. And in a small way it helps. Today I put this little things in my office. I find a new one ever so often and add it to the collection. I read a story a while back about how fairies collect little things, buttons and shiny things and store them behind their fairy door, it reminds me of my collection.

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

I have good days, and I have bad days. Sometimes I get sad. But usually I am up and happy. I have so much to be thankful for. I have wonderful friends and family of choice. Once strangers are now sisters and brothers. I have so much positive that I try to let the negative come in, sit a minute and then send it on its way. Because remember, I am a sum of my parts... all of them.  My negative and my positive make me who I am today. And I <3 ME.

For those out there that are struggling with demons in the past, or with childhood things, I highly recommend finding someone you can trust to talk to. Find someone you can share these things with. One of the best things you can do is buy a coloring book and a box of crayons. Set these as your special things, for those times when you just need to sit down and escape from the grown up world. It really helps.

For those that need someone to talk to, here are a few resources. I had family that thought "something was wrong" when I stopped tying my shoes and forgot my ABCs, but no action was taken. If you "think" something is wrong, ask questions. You might be saving a life.


Survivors of Incest Anonymous
RAINN
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
Recognizing and Preventing Child Abuse

Sending out positive energies to all.

Namaste and Blessed Be
Sosanna
)O(

As many of you are aware there's a scary prospect going around now regarding DC40. Several blog postings have been done to provide more information, background and insight into this new take on an old belief system. Herescope, Nuit's Mews-ings & Secret Life of an American Working Witch to name a few.

I'm a very simple person. I like things explained very simply. Probably one of the main reasons I detest politics. Everyone has to have a five paragraph answer for something that you could easily say Yes or No to.

Here's my take on this whole business.

1. There's a group of people who believe that they want to have the United States governed under Biblical Law.
2. They are targeting areas of the US to host "Prayer Vigils" around to help this to happen.
3. Anyone not with them is against them.


And that's pretty much it. If you're non Christian. You're not in the club. They want to have this land changed from the free exchange of ideas that our forefathers intended to something that resembles a police state. No one can be different. No one is allowed to think for themselves or to differ from those statements in the Christian Bible.


Now. My first thought here was that's just crazy. No one is going to fall for this. As Americans we cherish our right to first and foremost embrace our constitutional right to free speech. No one would possibly give up their freedoms to conform to some organized mess that one super Christian would be in charge of.

Really?

I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but I'm sure if we interviewed German citizens prior to the Holocaust we would find the same sentiment. Would we see how no one would possibly believe that any one would allow a person to come to power that would strip away rights of their own citizens and then not only take their property and livelihood but finally their lives.

These are scary times we're living in. We have wars around us, an economy in the dump and unemployment at an all time high. If Hitler was right about anything it was this. In order to succeed, a group needs a common enemy.

Last night I actually had a dream that someone came to my house with torches, dragged me from my bed and burned me at the stake. Dramatic, and completely unreasonable. But ... just think for a moment. Let's say it's baby steps... let's say, Christianity is not the main religion, now practicing anything else becomes a crime, now we can start taking away rights based on a belief system that has been protected in this country since it's inception.

The mind rejects this belief. The body shudders at the thought that this could happen in our time. The heart breaks that we're seeing our fellow Americans act this way.

I think it's time for this little Witch to come out of the broom closet. I think it's time to take a stand for what you believe in. It's not black magic or negativity, it's self preservation.

If you're able to, get involved. Politics Sucks. I agree, however we need to be represented. We need to have a voice. Start locally, get involved in a local coven, reach out to your local government and see what you can do. Lend a hand in state elections, volunteer to assist with as much as you can. Get informed. They are. Join some of the Facebook Groups that have been created to get the word out on the prayer vigils. These groups are trying to create organized responses to these "prayers" in creating our own cyber circles if you will to combat the negativity that could come if they're successful.




In closing I leave you with this.



First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)



Namaste & Blessed Be

Sosanna
)O(

Yesterday a friend of mine, Kallan, posted a wonderful post on apathy. It really hit home for me. Living in a rural area, I had no idea of the Pagan Community that was here all along.

I shopped online and did my best to conduct myself as a good solitary. I've never been much into large groups and gatherings and believe it or not I'm really a pretty shy person. So the entire concept of joining a coven or seeking out others outside the safety of my little box was something that never entered my mind.

I commented on Kallan's blog and moved on with my crazy busy day. I did stop to consider a couple of times what I should blog about today but generally I kept my day humming along. Like so many of us out there today, the economy is killing me. Hubby and I lost our business and I spend most of my time coming up with new ways to make things or sell things to help make ends meet. Hubby is pounding the pavement looking for work and we've got the candles, the oils, the positive thoughts and of course the applications out across the US!

A little later in the day I saw a reference to another posting related to the Pagan Community. Amy over at The Realm of the Green Witch posted a similar post around how the pagan community can react to a threat. She talks about shopping in your local stores and spending the few extra pennies to help support the community instead of ordering off the internet.

Strangely enough at that same moment I got an email from Kay Soto over at Truely Unique in Wilson. I did a blog post on her shop a while back. It's about an hour from me. I attended one of her herb classes and signed up to attend one coming this Friday. I've turned that email from Kay into a note on Facebook.

I sit here and spend a lot of time on the internet trying to find places that don't charge to sell my wreaths, or hubby's dream catchers. I spend so much energy trying to find materials online, something shipped directly to my house so that I don't have to spend the gas money to drive out to pick up this or that.

I've decided that's going to change. If we want our community to be strong, we must support it. We must network. Yes, I said the N word. Not networking on the computer. Network in person. Step out from behind that monitor and attend a gathering. Offer to host a night at your local pagan store. Offer to maybe car pool on a particular night to that store that's an hour away. This is our community and it needs support.

A relationship doesn't just grow. Much like an herb garden, as all witches know, you must tend it. You have to pull the weeds. You have to water it. You have to talk to it and love it to watch it grow. The relationship we have with our religion; with our community needs that same dedication and attention.


Here's to taking care of our own.

Namaste & Blessed Be
Sosanna
)O(