Showing posts with label race. Show all posts

Unapologetically White

Yes, I have dreadlocks.  I listen to Prince and 2 Live Crew. I have more "black" music on my iPod than most and I am probably the least likely to conform that anyone  you'll ever meet.  I mourned the loss of Prince over the last week and still have records left to play.  Racism baffles me.  I don't get judging people based on their skin.  And this goes both ways.  Recently I have seen friends judging others based in how light or dark they are.  WTF  What are you doing?  Yes, I am a 40 something year old English/Irish/Viking chick with dreadlocks.  I have come to terms with who I am racially and historically.  I no longer need your approval to be who I am.   ME!  I am me.  Stop judging what hair style I "should" have based on my skin tone.  You know what's really awesome about living in today's world.  I can be who exactly I am without removing who you are.  WE can be who we are separately and not  take away from who we are individually.

Today I am Renee.  I am happy with who I am.  I have dreadlocks.  Why?  Because I like them!  I like having beads and having my hair like snakes.  I identify with this because of my deity, Hecate.  I do not need your permission to be who I am.

I am a white girl.   I have Irish/British DNA.  My people come from Ireland and England as well as Norway.  I am me. Separate from any group.  I like dreads. They make me feel complete.  All I can say is if you frown on a white girl with dreadlocks, move on.  My hair does this naturally.  No chemicals.  No products.  This is me.  If I am not in your ideal, remove me.  Today I celebrate singularity.  Be who you are.  If you like dreads have dreads.  If you like straight smooth hair, be smooth.  Be who you want to be and ignore all this BS about the status quo.

WE are who we are, and all this alignment is the establishment trying to take away our uniqueness.  Life is full of what ifs...   be the magic.


Thoughts on Racism

Thoughts on Racism

I started this article out with the idea of looking back at the history of race relations in North Carolina.  I thought maybe I could pull together some statistics about how it is better now.  I began by looking at the Civil War.  I dug through the National Archives to find information on black participants.  I found references to 54th Regiment of Massachusetts and other volunteers like the sons of Fredrick Douglas (Charles to the 5th Calvary and Lewis to the 54th Regiment) and even women like Harriet Tubman who fought unofficially for the Union.  Black soldiers were paid less than white and they were charged for their uniforms until 1864 when Congress granted equal pay retroactively.  Nearly 200,000 black men fought for the union, while it is said that only several thousand fought on the side of the Confederacy.  The troops remained segregated for over 100 years.  In 1948 President Truman signed an executive order creating the Committee on Equality of Treatment and Opportunity in the Armed Services to begin integration of the US Military.  Still today we have regulations to the dress code that tells people of color they cannot have natural hair and be in the military, hair that is does not lay flat and straight is preferred over fuller hair.

Changes, but not as clear cut as you would think we could be in our countries history.  I thought, ok, let’s go at this from a personal angle.  I have personal experience.

When I was in a youngster in 2nd or 3rd grade the little girl who sat in front of me had braids and beads in her hair.  I would play with her locks and ask her how her hair was able to have beads and ribbons.  She explained that her mom sat down each day and combed her hair and put in the twists and bows.  My young brain accepted that I would never have pretty hair like my black classmate because my mom never did anything but watch TV.  She never sat with me and braided my hair.  So I was destined to be different than my classmate not because of our hair texture or skin color but more so because her mom cared more than mine. Later in the year, while playing “Red Rover” outside I busted through the line next to my classmate and pulled her back to my side to be on my team.  For those not familiar with the game, two groups are selected, the kids hold hands and call the name of someone on the opposite side to run over and break through the chain.  If they don’t break through, they are added to the chain, if they do they select one of the two that broke the chain to take back to the other side.  I selected my classmate with the pretty hair to come back to my team.  I recall as if it were yesterday, “Come with me, slave.” are the words I spoke. I knew that a slave was a person that had to do what the other person said.  My friend yanked away from me and was angry.  She had tears in her eyes and said, “Don’t call me that.”  I was confused. I had no idea why she was upset.  She ran inside.  I never approached her again.  We never spoke again.   It wasn’t until 1977, when Roots was released that I had any clue what the word “slave” and racial bias were all about.  Here, she was well experienced in the words in our 3rd grade class, yet I had no idea.  This is white privilege.  No one needed to explain to me what racism was because it didn’t have an impact on my life. 

Today as a nearly 50 year old woman I sit writing this paper, with dreadlocks in my hair.  I have beads and ribbons, all the things that the little 8 year old wanted in her hair.  Yet, I have people approaching me saying I am appropriating a culture, store managers following me and treating me as though I’m going to steal something and the need to buy scarves and head wraps to put forth a more “businesslike” appearance. 

As I do more research for the piece and see so many comments about how when white people try to talk about race, they make it about them.  I try to think about how editorial pieces are written.  For the most part they are written based on first person experience.  I know that I don’t have the slightest clue what it is like to have to explain racial bias to your children.  I know that when my child made friends with the girl next door, it made no difference her race.  I didn’t ask her race.  It wasn’t important.  When she picked out a “brown baby doll” (her words) with her birthday money, I had no issue with that.  She took her toy to show and tell and was told very directly by the other children that she could not have a “brown baby”, that only brown mommies could have brown babies, I had to explain to her genetics.  Was I wrong to let her pick which ever one she wanted?  Should I have had a talk with her before I let her take it to school?  Hindsight is 20/20 they say.  I would not change my decisions. By the end of my research on this topic, to say I was disheartened and frustrated is putting it mildly.  I found a website called Mapping Police Violence and it is just incredible how much goes unreported by mainstream media.  I stare in awe at the screen unsure what my next move should be?  How do we move forward?  How do we work together to end racism?  Do we call on religion or government to help?  Interestingly enough the only religious text I could find that condemned racism was in the Quran, despite what modern media tries to say about Islam.

As children we are unaware of racism.  We learn racism from those around us.  We are taught to be nasty to each other or to judge others based on bias from the adults around us.  I saw an interview between Mike Wallace and Morgan Freeman where they discuss the need to stop referring to each other as a white man and a black man but more as Mike and Morgan.  Do discussions and dialog on racism actually lead to more racism?  For this I have no answer.  I do know that today, I wish I could return to the days of just appreciating the pretty beads in someone’s hair and wanting to have them in my own without worrying about offending someone.

Maybe the time has come to stop talking about racism and start doing something about it. Treat other people with the same kindness and respect that you would like to have given to you.  That’s it. Simple.






White People ... You're Doing It Wrong!


This week has been a pretty heartbreaking week.  Seeing my friends combat each other on social media; taking sides in a war of words has been devastating.

I actually have friends who have removed each other over the discussions around the Ferguson decision and the riots/protesting that followed.

This afternoon I noticed my trending widget on Facebook showed the following:


Photo Credit - Screen Shot - Facebook


I click over to read the headlines and the obvious idiocy that was certainly to follow.

ST. LOUIS MO - A 32 year old Bosian man has died from wounds suffered from an attack by several young males with hammers. (link)

Photo Credit - Screen Shot - Facebook

Comment 1 -  Dear White Person, you're doing it wrong.  While I get how annoying it might have been to see the St. Louis Rams make some sort of political statement while they were playing a football game, I'm pretty sure your comment is highly offensive and completely way off target.  And the rest of you 50 some people who liked that comment - 0.0

Comment 2 - Dear White Person, you're doing it wrong.  How can you equate civil rights violations to a group of people that attacked this motorist?  OH wait... you're just making a racist statement and have no actual knowledge of the law or of the judicial system.



Bosnians protested in Bevo Mill after man dies after brutal attack. (link)


Photo Credit - Screen Shot - Facebook

Comment 1 - Dear White Person, you're doing it wrong.  While I get that you're happy that there were no damage or looting, I highly doubt that we needed you to point out again how much better you believe white people are than black people.  Your comment in itself was racist.

Comment 2 - Dear White Person, you're doing it wrong.  While I understand that you believe that white people don't get talked about on the news enough here's a bit of information for you.  Women are far more likely to be beaten and murdered by their partners.  (link)  A woman is beaten every 9 seconds. (link)  Not all white men beat their wives, but a good portion do, does that mean we should toss your sorry ass in jail?  Why not?  Because everyone should be treated equally in America.  We shouldn't base our judgement on a person's skin (or gender) we should base it on the content of their character.

St. Louis Protesters Decry Motorist Beaten to Death by 2 Teens (link)




Comment 2 - Dear White Person, you're doing it wrong.  Last I checked you can still own a gun.  Further you're reference to Kenya points out that you are a whack-o birther that has no real grasp on reality.  The only real ignorance here is that you believe you cannot own a gun and that your president is from another country.  Both of which are indeed ignorant.  You may want to check your cheese for microphones because "THEY" may indeed be out to get you.






FB Posting 1 - Dear White People, You're doing it wrong.  Just a bit of an observation for this page - Ummm actually I've been around a lot of people of color.  I've even helped in scout groups that were LOADED with teens of all racial backgrounds.  For the most part  "black teens" do not do this to "whites"  Your message is inflammatory, bigoted and racist. I can only hope that your 55 likes are from the same pool as the previous set of idiots.


When I look at this stupid ass comments I sit back and look at my friends list.  I see faces from many cultures and backgrounds.  I have some that right wing conservatives and way far lefties.  I try to temper my comments with my own personal life experiences.  That being said, I don't live in a vacuum.  I understand that people of color are at a significant disadvantage when it relates to fairness in the real world.  I know that if I opened up my wallet and pulled out an EBT card the man behind me will think that I've fallen on hard times, while if I were a person of color, he would assume I'm sucking the tit of the welfare pig like so many generations before me.  You see THAT is what white privilege is.  That assumption.

So when I sit around and think about why people react to someone being beaten in their community, I don't say well people of color respond this way and white people this way.  Because it is stupid.  Everyone should be upset when a person is killed.  Any person.  In the LGBT community 53% of all homicides were against Trans* Women.  (link)  That number blasts up to 73% where the victims were people of color.



Photo Credit glaad.org


People of color are targeted more often than those who are not.  People of color are more likely to get jail time and/or higher fines that those who are not.  These are facts.

No matter how you slice and dice it, no matter how many times you post that Obama is coming for your guns the only thing you are accomplishing is making the divide between our communities wider.

Put down the hate.  Put down the innuendo and the stereotyping.  Real people are dying and you should really care.