This afternoon I saw a post shared by The Advocate magazine that the marriages in Utah have been declared invalid.  I did a quick search online to find it was indeed true.  I found this article on The New Civil Rights Movement where Utah Governor Gary Herbert announced that Utah will not recognize the marriages of 1300 same sex couples.

I remember years back something very similar happened in San Francisco in 2004.  I do not believe the majority can really understand what it feels like to be told that you are not valid.  Your relationship, your partnership, your marriage is void.  I blogged about this in 2011 in a post called 'Lawfully Wed'.


For the life of me I cannot understand why people need to do this.  How.... I just ... I'm completely and utterly blown away by the fact that these couples are treated so terribly.  Gay and Lesbian people AGAIN have had their rights shat upon and it is appalling.

I wonder how people would feel if their state decided that interracial marriage was wrong, and they were going to invalidate all those marriages.  Or how about religions, let's be sure that the religions match or guess what... no marriage!

Our country rants and raves about how free we are.  Citizens run around waving flags and cheering USA USA.... well today the state of Utah decided that not every one in that stated was worthy of protections under the law.

I sit here now, sobbing, my heart breaking for these families.  Just a few days ago I posted that I knew that we would see marriage equality in this nation in my lifetime.  I really, really hope that I was not wrong.

If you are a supporter of equality.  If you believe that ever tax paying citizen is entitled to fair treatment under the law, I urge you to get involved in the marriage equality movement.  Write letters, sign petitions.


Tell the Governor of Utah you stand with LGBT Families -
On Facebook  - https://www.facebook.com/HerbertForUtah
On the Web - http://garyherbert.com/



Give these families the rights that you already enjoy.
http://www.marriageequality.org/
http://www.hrc.org/campaigns/marriage-center
http://www.southernequality.org/
http://www.amnestyusa.org/our-work/issues/lgbt-rights/marriage-equality
http://www.freedomtomarry.org/

Photo Credit - Renee Olson

Yesterday I saw an amazing video. I wanted to share it with my blog followers.





Who wouldn't be proud if this were their son.

Take a moment and be thankful for what you have and cherish what you have because so many families out there lack the basic rights and protections provided by the civil institution of marriage. Everyone here in created equal.


Namaste & Blessed Be

Sosanna

Yes, Tina hit the nail on the head when she sang "What's Love Got To Do With It". According to the the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and the Bible, pretty much nothing.

After my run this morning hubby and I popped open the News Channel on the Wii and started reading the news of the day with our tea. I nearly spit my coffee out when I saw that NOM has started a four year plan to have marriage equality revoked in New York. The blog "The New Civil Rights Movement" had a post that gives the details of NOM's plan.

Their plan is basically to elect all "Pro Marriage" majorities in the House and Senate, elect "pro marriage" candidates in 2014 so they can get an amendment passed in 2015, finally passing a ballot measure in 2015.

A quote in the article I read on the Wii said "NOM wants to bring back biblical marriage".

Really?

Biblical Marriage?

Let's talk about biblical marriage. I found a relatively non-offensive site that lists all the bible verses that talk about marriage. (LINK)

In my reading there I believe the following to be true of biblical marriage.

1. You cannot have a divorce, if you do you commit adultery.
2. Your husband can sleep with the servants if you're sterile.
3. If you're raped, your rapist must pay the "Bride's price" to your family and marry you.
4. If you're not a virgin, you can't get married.
5. If your bother dies, you have to marry his wife.
6. It's better to live alone than with a wife who argues.
7. You can have several wives or one wife, it's pretty much up to the man, however a woman can only have one husband.
8. 15 foreskins is a good price for a wife.
9. You can't marry your sister, but you can marry your cousin.
10. If you're king, you can collect all the virgins of the land and put them in a court, if they gain your favor, give them cosmetics.


Nice eh?

Sounds like just what I want.... NOT!

How about this for marriage.

1. Love me
2. Respect me
3. Don't hurt me

That's all I need. I don't need biblical marriage. Hell I don't believe that anyone alive today really "WANTS" biblical marriage. The most important thing about marriage is love. You have to love each other with your very being. You have to respect that person with the same respect that you show yourself. You have to not hurt that personal, physically and emotionally. That's a marriage. That's a partnership.

In my opinion, if NOM wants to "SAVE MARRIAGE", what needs to happen is that all the civil rights that have been attached to marriage need to be changed. Those rights need to be in a legal setting where they belong. They do not belong attached to the word Marriage. Get the government OUT of marriage. However, if you plan to protect people based on a personal decision to join their households together, and share their assets, those protections need to be applied equally across the board to ALL.



Love is Love is Love


Namaste & Blessed Be

Sosanna
)O(

So over the last few days we've found out that some high profile lesbian bloggers are actually men. Gay Girl in Damascus and Lezgetreal.com have both been exposed as a hoax. Today this ran in Pink News.


First I want to talk about the comments. Every now and then when there's a news worthy event the TV trucks roll down to the area and start interviewing the general public. There are some things that generally do not belong on TV. Just as there are some things that do not belong in Comments.



Certainly meant to be funny, but sadly, very not funny. Yes Jeanna, Lesbians can blog and millions of them do it every day. Unfortunately only the men that do it make the news. At least there is a public explanation on the Gay Girl in Damascus blog, I found nothing like that on the Lezgetreal site.

Now, on to the the actual incident.


I have mixed emotions about this. On one hand I can see how someone might "think" that the best way to support the LGBT community is to have their voice heard. And they may feel that the only way to be taken seriously is to be a member of that group. I can see the logic here. However, that logic is flawed.

I'm going to take this very personally for a moment. Lesbians in general, don't need the support of other lesbians to make themselves feel heard. Again, very generally, Lesbians have a sisterhood of sorts that bond them together and give them a community support structure. What is lacking in the lesbian community is the support of straight people. Just from a numbers prospective there are more straights than gays. That's a fact. We are a minority. We need the support of the majority in order to make social change. We need all the straight men out there to stop pretending to be lesbians and pick up their pens for equality. I loath the term, but for lack of a better word, Man UP!

If you believe in something, you should be able to say it with your real voice. If you agree with something you should be able to stand up and support that position. You should be able to articulate your point and provide a story, without basically writing fiction.

This is what they did. They did a disservice to the cause they were pretending to support as well as discrediting their own name.

I decided that I would take a moment and address any straight people that might be reading today. Here goes...

----------
Dear Straight Allies,

We love you. We want and need our straight allies. We love knowing that you support our families and want us to have the same rights that you have. I know you might want to do more for our cause and support us as much as you can. I would like to give you a few tips on how to do that.

1. VOTE - yes friends, just vote. We need to have LGBTQ Friendly leaders in office to be sure that everyone in our community is protected.
2. WRITE - Start a blog, write a letter to the government, send an email to your local paper, get the word out that you are a support. YOU, not a pen name or pseudonym.
3. Volunteer - Reach out to the LGBTQ community and find out what they need. We have elderly that need meals on wheels. We have disabled, we have children, we have all the same needs that the straight community has without the same support system in place. When our partner passes, in some places, we can't even be in the hospital room. LGBTQ Seniors cannot share rooms in nursing homes with their significant others.
4. Attend Pride functions - Every year at pride as we (LGBTQ People) walk into our pride events we are greeted with the bull horns and signs telling us we're sinners and we're going to hell. We walk into the face painting area with our kids and hear "God Hates Fags!". Why not come out and support us there.

There is so much that can be done for us, without pretending to be us. Here is a list of links that can be used to support the LGBTQ Community. This is a small list, there are lots of way to help. I welcome any questions or comments.

Thank you for your support!

A Lesbian

MEUSA - Support Marriage Equality World Wide
Support Marriage - Call to Support Marriage Equality in NY - Even if you don't live there let them know the World is watching.
PFLAG - Parents, Families and Friends of Gays and Lesbians
Twibbons - Show your support of the LGBTQ Community by adding a Twibbon to your Facebook Profile
HRC - Human Rights Campaign - HRC envisions an America where LGBT people are ensured their basic equal rights and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in their communities.
ACLU - The LGBT Project fights discrimination and moves public opinion through the courts, legislatures and public education across five issue areas: Relationships, Youth & Schools, Parenting, Gender Identity and Expression and Discrimination in Employment, Housing and other areas

-------



I hope that some day we can look back on all this and think, how silly to hold someones civil rights from them just because they love differently.





Namaste & Blessed Be

Sosanna
)O(

The idea that two people are joined together in marriage is a pretty simple one. Applicant A signs a paper and provides ID, Applicant B signs a paper and provides ID. They are given a license and they marry. From that point forward they are granted over 1000 rights and benefits from that joining.

Everything from visitation in the hospital to death benefits are granted with that tiny slip of paper. That being said, what if you found out that in the event of your death, your mother who hates your husband or wife would be able to go to court and say, you know what... they're not "really" married and a judge would then say ... You know what... fine I agree, they're not married. Your spouse then loses all rights. They take away the death benefits, the house, the car, whatever. Your x-spouse then joins into the lawsuit and says you know what, I should get those death benefits, because I'm the "real" spouse, I'm the widow!


Surely I must be wrong? Surely this can't happen in America. Well sleep well my non-Trans friends. Your marriage is safe and sound. Apparently this is only allowed to happen to Trans-people. Specifically Nikki Araguz, a transwoman, who's husband, a firefighter, died in the line of duty in Texas. His mother and X-wife have sued Nikki in Texas alleging that their marriage is void because Texas doesn't recognize same sex marriage, even though Nikki has completed Gender Reassignment Surgery and updated her necessary paperwork to become legally female. (Story)

So let's think about this for a moment. All those people out there that say, we don't care what they do, they can have civil unions or whatever. We just don't want them messing with marriage. Really? How about Nikki? Can Nikki have a civil union? Can she have any freaking rights that the non-trans person might have? This of course means that any trans-person no matter how long they've been their correct gender or how long they've been living in their married relationship, can at the drop of a hat have their marriage declared "Void".


VOID
–adjective
1.
Law . having no legal force or effect; not legally binding or enforceable.
2.
useless; ineffectual; vain.
3.
devoid; destitute (usually followed by of ): a life void of meaning.

That word still haunts me when the judge in the California case ruled all 4000 marriages VOID from inception. (story)


Our love has legal force or effect, it is legally binding and enforceable, it is not useless or ineffectual. Our love matters. To tell another person that they or their relationship is "VOID" is just wrong. How dare society today, with the highest divorce rates in history, politicians openly cheating on their wives and lying about it for years, having children with their mistresses and they have the utter gall to look at a loving couple and just because they maybe Trans-people or gay they are VOID.


I am appalled. I cannot put together the anger, the frustration and the shear sense of injustice that is running through my body right now. The tears running down my cheeks only confirm that this is indeed not only a travesty of justice but also a knife in the heart of every member of the LGBTQ community.


Please take a moment to talk to others that you know about Trans issues. Take a moment to discuss the LGBTQ Community and how each day a little bit of their rights are being taken away.



As long as one of us is discriminated against, none of us are free.



Hoping for a brighter tomorrow.


Namaste & Blessed Be

Sosanna
)O(

I'm looking around the world today and seeing people complaining and arguing about what Gay people have done to marriage. What have they done really? Created more divorce? Umm No, they can't get married to start with. Created adultery? Ummm No, again they can't get married. How do gay people really destroy marriage? They can't. There's nothing that I do in my home that harms your marriage. There's nothing you do in your home that harms mine.

So...



I have a solution. Let's remove all the rights that the government has given to married couples. Yes that's right. No tax breaks, no inheritance no nothing. Let's put marriage back into the communities hands. Let the Christians marry the Christians, the Jews marry the Jews and the Pagans marry the Pagans. No one has to be rioting or picketing or causing a ruckus.

You didn't know that the government gave rights? Well here's a few from Religious Tolerance:

On the order of 1,400 legal rights are conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits.


Among them are the rights to:
joint parenting;
joint adoption;
joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support;
immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment;
inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate);
benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home;
veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans; joint filing of tax returns;
joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children;
bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her;
crime victims' recovery benefits;
loss of consortium tort benefits;
domestic violence protection orders;
judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
and more....



So.... What do you think... BAN Governmental Marriage and guess what else... No marriages mean NO Divorce!


Blessed Be

Sosanna
)O(