EDITED TO INCLUDE A LINK - Radio Show - Hex Education


What is an apology?

Google defines and apology as:

1. 1.

   a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.

   • a formal, public statement of regret, such as one issued by a newspaper, government, or other organization.
   • used to express formally one's regret at being unable to attend a meeting or social function.

When someone does something to another person that may be some sort of offense, the offender is expected to make amends for those words or behaviors.  Over the past week or I've watched as the online community to which I belong has rallied behind the cries of an individual who offered an edited conversation as fuel to a fire set to burn a warlock at the stake.

The full text of the discussion completely ignored after disclosure.  I felt as though I was watching a 1930's Frankenstein Film.  Ok, so yeah that's a little dramatic.  The monster in this real life film fiasco was not the completely innocent unknowing oaf who was mistakenly viewed as a criminal based on his appearance.  This monster actually commented the offense in question.

I saw a soulful apology presented and an effort to move forward only met with more ridicule and hatred.

I saw someone actually post -  "Do you think you can apologize and get away with it?"
Another read - "Apologies do not matter, this is unacceptable and he should be put out of business."

Really?  Is this justice?  Who are we to judge?

I get the offensive nature of what was said.  I've seen both the edited and the unedited versions of the screen captures being passed around.  I've also listened to the radio show.  Some people love the humor of Eddie Murphy.  Some prefer Joan Rivers.  Some believe that people should be stoned for mocking God in a comedy sketch.  Offensiveness is subjective.

While I agree the unedited comments were extremely uncalled for, I also understand the beauty of forgiveness.  I'm not suggesting that we approve of the comment, I am saying that we approve of the apology.

Recently it was brought to my attention that the offender felt so deeply troubled by the pain his comment could have caused that he made a sizable donation to RAINN.  I immediately wanted to run to the accusers and say, "Is this enough?"   But then I realized.  It really isn't about the crime in question, it is more about the hunt.  There is nothing that the monster can do that would make the villagers forgive and accept him.   This is after all, come they are in control of.  Not him.  Because you see, his apology his attempt to make amends does nothing to change their hearts.  He cannot change them.  They have to change.

I beg of my fellow feminists, please allow people to apologize.  Allow those who have offended you to say they are sorry.  Holding on to that anger isn't going to remove evil from the world.  It is only going to ingrain that negativity and evil deeper into our core.  Not every man on the planet is out to get you.

I was so very disappointed when I saw someone I respected highly judge someone so harshly.  I was amazed at how we sit back and say, don't judge me.  Yet, we not only cast judgement on others around us, but refuse to allow others to make mistakes.  I, like them, have to stop and remember they are human.  I have to accept that just because they are in a high position in the group, that does not make them infallible.

As a devotee of the Goddess Hecate, I participate in the Deipnon.  There is a cleansing part of this ritual where I walk my house and sweep up around my area to cleanse or make amends, for any offense that may have happened towards the Goddess.  I look in my dust pan and see lint, dirt and the occasional macaroni noodle I dropped while cooking.  I take these and toss them out with a bit of garlic and leeks.   I know that with that, whatever transgressions that may have occurred are now gone.  Cleansing my house is offering an apology.

I like to say I have a relationship, not a religion.  I don't call on the Goddess to fix a flat or help my team win. (Though they could have certainly used it yesterday)  I use the representations of the deity and what she stands for to be sure that I am providing a sound, just world for our future generations.

Take a moment to examine what you are looking to leave this world.  What are you ready to work for?  The world already has enough pain and negativity.  Will you be a healer or judge, jury and executioner.

Namaste & Blessed Be
Sosanna
)O(

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This last month has been pretty crazy for me.  I'm so glad that it's over.  As many of you know I've spent the last few weeks adjusting to my mother living with me.  This was something that I wasn't prepared for.  I was and am in a complete shock at how well I seem to be adapting.

My mother has several issues going on. I only recently found out she not only had Diabetes, but also has stage three renal failure, congestive heart failure and COPD.  She suffers from TAIs or mini-strokes as well as dementia, with both hearing and sight loss.



Every night hubby and I sit in the living room and watch TV with her.  She likes CSI and NCIS.  She watches The Biggest Loser with us and even Celebrity Wife Swap.  She seems to be in higher spirits even though she misses seeing my sister's kids.  I've reached out to them several times and hope that maybe they'll at least call from time to time.  Right now it's only myself and one sister that are participating.  The other two are not so interested any more.  I spoke to one and said, it'd be really nice if you called Mama. She's not doing well. She actually said to me and I quote, "I only have 200 minutes a month, I have to save them".  Nice...



I don't have the emotion around the "Mother" that I should have.  It's not there. But I do have compassion.  I do have an understanding that no matter what you've done to others in your life you don't deserve to be treated poorly.  Especially when you can't even remember why they're treating you that way.  It breaks my heart to see her wake up in the morning ask look a little lost and ask where the grand babies are, then slowly remember that she lives with me now and there are no babies here.







I was treated poorly.  I was hurt.  But this isn't the person that did that.  This person that is here isn't the same who allowed me to suffer what I did. That person was lost in one of the strokes, or maybe in a sugar seizure.  So how can I be angry or upset with her.   The answer is I cannot.  Perhaps all these things happen for a reason. Perhaps she's here to help me understand that part of my life is over and I need to let it go.  My pain makes me who I am, but I do not have to suffer that pain everyday to continue to be who I am.  I can let it go and forgive.  I can still be who I am, without hurting every day.  I think that's a great lesson to learn.



Last week at the doctor she told them I was her sister.  Interesting really... Makes more sense based on how she treats me.  I'm still hoping that those that she considers her daughters will actually make some sort of effort to reach out to her.  I know I would be so distressed without my daughter.  I cannot imagine how it must feel to know that the only reason they called or came around was to clean out her checkbook.

I don't believe in the death penalty because I don't believe that hurting another person makes up for the pain you feel inside or the loss you suffer.  I think on a similar level it's the same thing here.  There's nothing that can fix those wounds from the past.  I just need to let them heal, embrace my scars and move on.





Take a moment to hug those you want to hug, cry with those you wish to cry with and love those you wish to love.  You never know when it will be your last chance to do so.

Namaste & Blessed Be
Sosanna
)O(