Being raised in the south, I had my share of eating with the family. For the most part we were low income (sometimes no income) and my mother received government subsidies to raise us. Because my father was in prison, she got a monthly check, food stamps and medicaid. Most of the money went to my alcoholic stepfather who was pretty much a complete monster. The majority of my childhood was spent hungry. I stole food from grocery stores and ate it in the fields next to our house. This was the beginning of my struggle with food. On the holidays we would go to my grandmother's house for a huge meal with all the family. Easter, Thanksgiving & Christmas were the big ones.
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Photo Credit - Family Photo |
This past Christmas I went to the "family" get together and was amazed at how different the meal was. Hubby and I took a vegan dish to share and the rest of the food was your typical southern Christmas dinner. Turkey, Ham, candied sweet potatoes, butter beans and so on. We opened up a five food folding table to put all the food out. When I was a kid, we had a 4x4 card table to hold the food and usually only had a couple of cakes, and maybe a chocolate delight. This year after we finished eating our meal, we put all the food away and brought out the deserts. Even know there was not even 1/3 of the people that normally show up the entire five foot table was full end to end with sweets. I sat and watched as person after person loaded their plate with more food that anyone should eat. And yet, they did.
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My Grandma, Aunt and Uncle with a Chocolate Delight |
I wasn't a fat child, looking back. Today however that's a different story. I struggle everyday with my weight and I know that my relationship with food is different than most in that food was always there for me when I was sad. It never judged me and I was able to control my food. I took what I wanted when I wanted it.
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Photo Credit - Family Photo |
It seems today that we have forgotten how we ate before. Everything is in excess now. As I watched the kids grab the store bought chocolate chip cookie and overlook the amazing fruit salad that was my grandma's favorite. It made me sad but was a reminder of how far I still have to go in order to get this final 60lbs off me for good. I am so looking forward to that.
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