Pagan Blog Project 2013 - F is for Fat


So this week for the second letter F I decided to write about Fat.  Yes, you heard me, Fat.  How exactly is “Fat” related to Pagan, especially pagan enough to be part of the Pagan Blog Project?
Many people have weight issues.  We’re looking currently at young people with a shorter life span than the parents which has never happened in our history.  We have the highest level of heart disease and diabetes ever.  So what’s going on and still, how is this a Pagan issue?

Just like any other group of people Pagans are a diverse group.  We’re old, young, tall, short, skinny and fat.  However when I did a quick Google search this result blew me away.

Screenshot - Google



Wow.  90% I've been to a lot of Pagan events and I don’t think that 90% were “old fat bitches”.  Yikes.

I recently picked up the book, The Body Sacred by Dianne Sylvan, after reading her blog post “10 Rules for Fat Girls”.  I've yet to crack it open for two reasons.  One part of my issue is I’m still taking the bat to my head about the recent weight gain I’ve had.  In reading the intro on the back of the book Dianne asks us to embrace the Goddess within us, no matter our shape or size.  Secondly, when I went to her site and found it covered with her book character, a very thin person.  I felt a bit slighted that on one hand she talks about taking back your body and she has the ability to make her character anyway she wants, and yet she chose to make her thin.


I was down to a size 10.  I worked out every single day.  I drank loads of water and even tried a smoothie a day to try to get smaller.  My hips were bony, my ass was flat and my boobs were floppy.  My mother was here, and life pretty much sucked. 

I’m still completely set on my food.  I still eat vegetarian (lacto-ovo) and I don’t eat from drive thru’s or processed foods.  I eat fresh when I can, and mostly legumes and very little bread.  Just the act of not working out changed my body and put it back in the state it is in now.  I’m wearing a size 16/18.  (Sometimes, attention clothing manufacturers, can we please come together on a universal size, Levis 16 shouldn't actually be a 12)

My bra was a 34 B (b is for bah!) and Now back up to a 38 D (D is for DAMN!)  When I sit next to my bed and check out my Facebook at night, the light from my iPhone shines up between my breasts and from time to time I say, “Wow, I've got nice cleavage.” 

Why then can I not get that awful feeling of feeling like a failure or that I’m just not good the way I am now.  Hubby has told me numerous times that he prefers me this way.  I prefer me this way, but for some reason when I’m out in public or when I’m about to go out I feel as though I’m some hideous creature that needs to be banished to another realm?

The media and society have done a number on women.  They tell us that we need to have straighter hair, lighter skin, fuller lips and even what to smell like in order to be accepted.  I’ve shared it many times but the documentary “Killing Us Softly -3” takes the viewer on a journey through the media images that women and young girls are bombarded with daily.

 It was also brought to my attention by my ever so observant kid that shows like “The Biggest Loser” which I watched religiously actually reinforce a negative body image on those that are not built like Jillian or Bob.  These overweight people are working out until they puke and are screamed at by little thin people calling them names.  Even though extremely inspirational at the amount of weight they can lose, I found a page that shows that many of them put all of their lost weight back on.  I’m not surprised.


Photo Credit - Renee Olson - 300lbs



I've yoyo’d from 310lbs down to 108,   
Photo Credit - Renee Olson - 108lbs



     
then back up to 280, then down to 175.

Photo Credit - Renee Olson - 283lbs


Photo Credit - Renee Olson - 175lbs
I don’t’ know what I weigh now.  There’s no scale in the house.  I measure by how my clothes fit.
Yesterday I was able to put my favorite shirt back on.  I like me here.

Photo Credit - Renee Olson - ?

My cute little panties don’t fit any more and my cute little socks are now too small.  I’m no longer shopping in the skinny section of the shops but I am doing everything I can to accept who I am today.  To look for the Goddess within.


Our representation of the Goddess in Paganism is of an ample breasted woman, with broad hips.  Often she’s depicted as being with child, and in some cases giving birth to the world.  Our views on ourselves and other women in our community need to reflect this.  We are pagans.  We celebrate diversity and embrace the Goddess.  We need to celebrate who we are and love women of all sizes.  Skinny and Fat alike.  We may not be able to change the world all at once, but we can at least make being Fat & Pagan, perfectly ok in our little corner.



Namaste & Blessed Be
Sosanna
)O(


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Renee Olson

Wife, Witch with the Metal Skills of a Dark Elf. I spend my time working with wire, weaving life and magic.

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